L-E-V-I
by Haley'sCircus
Summary: Levi is forced to face his own flaws after a humiliating science class with the newest recruits. Oneshot.


During their training to join the scouting legion, all students were required to attend a certain number of academic classes. Whenever time was available, the trainees were herded into classrooms and taught basic reading, writing, and mathematics. Once they were sorted into their different legions, it was then up to commanding officers to educate rookies. As expected, those in the Military Police Brigade had more scholarly opportunities than recruits in the Survey Corps.

That's why it was such a surprise to the rookies when they were called into their tiny lecture hall for a science lesson. They were dumbstruck, as they had only ever been in there for strategy overviews and other such field preparations, but as they entered they were greeted by Hanji's frighteningly thrilled expression.

"Quickly enter! Find a seat!" Hanji goaded, gesturing wildly with her arms.

Eren looked at Mikasa and Armin questioningly but took his seat in the front row. Off to the side he noticed Levi Heichou glaring out the window as if he would rather be anywhere else than teaching a bunch of brats their ABCs. Once everyone had taken a seat, Hanji wasted no time gathering everyone's attention. She gave them a borderline crazed grin and held a piece of chalk so tightly in her hand that Eren was certain it might break.

"Welcome! Prepare to open your minds to the wonders of our universe! I will enlighten your brains to the amazing world of knowledge starting now!" She practically sang at the top of her lungs. "Today we'll start with science!"

There was a collective groan around the room. Everyone who had been there for more than a week knew that once Hanji got talking about anything having to do with Titans or science, she would never, ever stop.

A brave soul in the back of the room raised their hand and everyone turned around to find that it was Connie, the dumbass. "Why do we have to attend classes all of a sudden?" He asked, wincing when Levi gave him a deadly glare.

"Because you're all a bunch of fucking idiots with nothing in your heads but hot air, that's why!" The captain barked, making every recruit shrink in their seats. "So shut up and pay attention."

Hanji, who seemed to be pretending she hadn't heard that, smiled kindly and turned to Connie. "Commander Erwin as per my insistence has agreed that it's important to exercise the brain as well as the body. It never hurts to have knowledge at one's disposal!"

Levi huffed at that and crossed his arms over his chest, turning back to the window while Hanji began her science lesson. "Now everybody knows the basics about the titan's anatomy. Lack of reproductive organs, no dependency on food, no excretory systems, but what I bet you _didn't _know was…"

* * *

"Thank goodness!" Jean cried out once they were allowed to leave for dinner. "That was awful!"

"I don't think I even have an appetite." Armin whimpered, holding his stomach.

"It wasn't that bad until she started pulling out all of those…what did she call them?" Sasha asked.

"Specimens." Mikasa answered.

"Whatever they were, they were freaky!" Connie agreed.

"I'm just glad it's over." Jean sighed. "How does somebody go on for five hours about one topic?"

"Trust me, that wasn't even half of it." Eren sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"What do we need this for anyway?" Connie whined. "It's not like I'll ever need to know advanced algebra when killing a titan!"

"Education is important. It improves your decision making skills out in the field and gives you a faster thought process." Armin replied.

"Yeah." Eren agreed. "Just look at Armin. He's smarter than anyone here and his strategic skills are what saved our asses at Trost."

There was a murmur of agreement, then a moment of silence.

"You guys are all pretty smart." Reiner commented. "With your father being a doctor and all."

Eren nodded. "He taught me and Mikasa how to read and write at a pretty young age."

"I know I never would have passed the exams without your guys' help." Connie admitted.

"Me too. I just hate arithmetic!" Sasha whined. "It's all a bunch of meaningless numbers! Academics are useless!"

"Don't let Levi Heichou hear you say that." Armin said. "He nearly ripped Connie's head off today!"

"Who knew Levi was such a passionate scholar?" Jean grinned.

"Well he's a corporal. He probably has lots of paperwork and things to sign." Eren said.

"See? If you ever want to rise in the ranks, education is important." Armin nodded.

"I bet he was the smartest in his class, too." Eren smiled admiringly. "Everyone should strive to be as amazing as Levi Heichou."

"Damn, if you wanted to marry him, why didn't you just say so?" Jean smirked, eliciting a scandalized cough from the shifter.

"Shut up! You'd be stupid not to respect him!" Eren replied defensively. "Everybody knows he's the best! You wish you were as physically _and _academically gifted as him!"

* * *

"Levi."

"What?"

"How was the lesson today? Were the recruits engaged?"

Levi scoffed and looked up from the document he was studying. "What made you think assigning Hanji as the teacher was a good idea?"

Erwin shrugged. "She insisted. Once she got it in her head she wouldn't leave me alone about it."

"Yeah? Well that five hour lecture on titans traumatized those recruits into never wanting to learn again." Levi huffed. "What makes you think they'll want to do the same thing tomorrow for reading and writing?"

"Look, just give Hanji a couple days to get it out of her system." Erwin replied. "Once she finds a new project to indulge in, she'll forget all about it."

"It's a fucking waste of time." Levi grumbled. "Storytelling and penmanship aren't going to protect them against Titans. Training will."

Erwin shrugged. "It doesn't hurt to learn."

"Hanji's handling things just fine. I don't see why I have to be there too."

"Somebody's got to tell her when to stop. Without you she'd keep them there all night." Erwin shrugged. "And you know…it wouldn't kill you to listen in."

Levi's grip tightened around his pen. "Shut up."

Erwin sighed and shrugged. "Didn't hurt to try. Just know that it's never too late." He glanced down at the document in front of Levi, his eyes scanning the paper. "Don't sign that." He murmured as Levi was lifting his pen.

The captain's head shot up. "I know what it says." He said testily, his eyes flickering down to the words before he quickly crumpled it up. He tossed it aside as a small blush crept onto his features.

Erwin nodded passively, knowing that he was very close to touching a nerve. "Alright then, you have a good night, Captain."

* * *

"This is worse than listening to Hanji's lecture!" Connie complained. "At least we didn't have to do anything then!"

Hanji had lectured for about thirty minutes that morning before giving them some old books found in the attic for reading and writing practice. They were to read the information on a certain page and then paraphrase it on their own before presenting it to the class. This would have been easy if the books weren't some old biology texts of Hanji's.

"What the hell is a cur-eh-brawl cor-tex?" Jean asked in frustration. "What does that even mean?"

"Let's ask Hanji. She's bound to know." Eren shrugged.

"No!" Connie, Sasha, Jean, and Reiner all exclaimed at once. "She'll never stop talking if we do!"

"What about Levi?" Eren suggested. "I bet he knows all of this stuff too." Before anyone could protest, he summoned the captain over to their table, trying his best to ignore the terrifying look he was receiving.

"What?" Levi glowered, as if daring him to ask.

"Ummm…we were just wondering if you could help us make sense of this paragraph…" Eren asked, getting a little more nervous as Levi's eyes narrowed.

"Give me that." Levi grouched, snatching it out of his hands. His eyes scanned over the page in desperate search of a recognizable word, but it was nearly impossible. They were like complex codes, how could anybody in their right minds make sense of this garbled mess of foreign symbols? It was pure insanity in his opinion. Now let's see…there was an "a"…the word "human" was there as well. Erwin had shown him that word plenty of times. "Cell" was another word he recognized. So that meant it had to do with prisoners!

"It's a disease that prisoners get when they're locked away for too long." Levi replied before dropping the book and walking away.

"Seriously?" Jean gaped. "Eren, did you get cur-eh-brawl cor-tex when you were locked away?"

Eren furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't think so. I would have noticed something, right?"

"Probably. Don't worry about it." Mikasa told him right as Hanji returned.

"Everybody drop your books!" She cried out. "It's time to share!" Turning to Eren's group, she pointed at them. "You! What did you learn?"

Everybody immediately turned to Eren, not wanting to speak, so the boy sighed and held up his paper. "We read about the cer-eh-brawl cor-tex which is a disease that one gets when spending too much time in prison." Eren reported. He opened his mouth to continue, but Hanji raised a hand to cut him off.

"What?"

Eren blushed. "Umm, it's a disease-

"Wrong! Show me what you read." Hanji said, holding out her hand with a concerned frown on her face. Eren obediently passed her the text. She immediately began to read the paragraph, leaving the rookies in front of her to squirm nervously in their spots. Not a single word was said and once she had finished, she passed the book back. "This text obviously describes the cerebral cortex as the outermost layered structure of neural tissue of the cerebrum in humans and mammals!" She exclaimed. "How could you possibly mix that up with a prisoner's disease?"

All eyes immediately flickered over to Levi who was back to staring out the window. This time, however it was difficult to ignore Levi's overly stiff posture at being caught in the middle of an error.

"Huh?" Hanji said, looking over at Levi in confusion.

"Nothing, corporal." Eren said quickly. "We just had a hard time understanding the advanced texts."

"Well then how about Captain Levi and I read it for you?" Hanji beamed. She hurried over to the other corporal and yanked him over, giving him no time to protest as she shoved a book in his hands. "You start."

Levi looked at her wide-eyed, a panicked expression crossing his features for a split second as he looked down at the page. "Um…maybe you should do this, Hanji. You're much more inclined than I am…"

"Nonsense!" Hanji insisted, taking a seat and watching him.

And that's when things got ugly.

Levi tried to read. He stumbled and paused, trailing off after a single letter. Animalistic noises escaped his throat as he desperately tried to grasp the alphabet. His eyebrows furrowed and a humiliated blush dominated his face and he gnawed on his lip, tugging on his hair in frustration. Hanji's enthusiastic expression quickly vanished into a horrified grimace when she realized what she had just made Levi do and the students stood watching in mortification as Levi made a pathetic attempt at pronouncing the word "right".

Levi growled and slammed the book on the floor. "Fuck this shit!" He snarled, looking like he wanted to set the entire lecture hall on fire. He looked up at the recruits with his eyes filled with ashamed rage and they recoiled slightly in fear. "Reading won't save your skin against a Titan! This is a waste of time! All you little brats should be outside doing your fucking drills!" He roared before storming out of the lecture hall.

Everybody went silent in shock, still struggling to process what they had just witnessed. Levi Heichou, the world's greatest soldier…was illiterate as a toddler.

* * *

After that, Commander Erwin put an end to academic lessons for a while.

Levi seemed much harsher towards the recruits. He barked at them more frequently, swatted them harder, pointed out more mistakes…It was hard on the scouts who never seemed to be able to escape Levi's wrath, especially for the more intellectuals ones like Armin and Eren. Poor Armen, who was pushed to exhaustion and paranoia with Levi's constant harassment and harsher training regimens… Everyone saw, but nobody dared speak up against the captain. They all knew a suicide wish when they saw one.

But then one night Eren was on his way to talk to Hanji about some shifter stuff when he heard a snarl of frustration from Levi's office. The door was open a small crack, light seeping into the hallway and even though every part of Eren's consciousness told him to avoid the area, his curiosity was getting the better of him. Mindful of his footsteps, he crept towards the door and peeked inside.

"This is fucking dumb!"

"Just try again, you'll get it."

"These would be more useful in the hearth."

Erwin sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Stop complaining. You're the one who came to _me."_

"Just shut up! For someone so high and mighty you sure are a shitty teacher!" Levi argued angrily.

Erwin shook his head and smiled. "Just take a breath and look again. You know this. Now what does this sound make?"

"For the love of-

"What sound does it make?" Erwin repeated.

Levi rolled his eyes and glared at the paper. "Luh."

"Very good, and this one?"

"Do we have to do this with every word?" Levi huffed. "I'll be here all night."

"It's a short word, stop whining." Erwin replied.

"Eee"

"Good, you've got this. Now this one."

"Eff?" Levi guessed, sinking slightly in his chair when Erwin shook his head. "Close."

"I don't want to do this anymore." The shorter man snapped in aggravation. He prepared to shove the papers off of his desk, but Erwin grabbed his arms.

"You're halfway there. You don't want the recruits to think they're better than you, do you?" Erwin asked. Levi scowled at him hatefully but resumed his staring at the paper as Erwin smiled triumphantly.

"Fff..fvvee?" Receiving an approving nod, a little bit of the captain's confidence returned and he looked at the last letter.

"I." Levi said, sounding sure of himself.

"Good, now just put all of the sounds together." Erwin said.

Eren leaned forward a little bit in anticipation, finding himself feeling hopeful for the captain's success.

"Just concentrate on the word, put all the sounds together." Erwin coached.

"I know how to do it, I'm not an idiot." Levi barked, his brow furrowing in concentration as he studied the letters on the paper. Erwin leaned back and observed quietly, though from the looks of it he too hoped this session would end in success.

"Hey, what are you-

"Shhh!" Eren hissed as he held a finger to his lips.

"What's going on?" Hanji asked in a hushed tone.

"Don't tell Levi Heichou. The commander is teaching him how to read." Eren whispered.

Hanji gasped and shoved him aside, peeking in excitedly.

Eren, still wanting to see the outcome, got on his knees and peeped in from under her.

This was it: the moment of truth. Levi picked up the paper, a deep frown on his face as he focused all of his mind power onto the word in front of him.

"Le-Luh…eee-ff….vuh-aye." The captain stuttered before turning to Erwin in confusion. "That's not even a fucking word!" He snapped in frustration. "Are you screwing with me?"

Erwin smiled and shook his head. "Try saying it again."

"Luh-eee-v'aye."

"Faster."

"L'ee v'ai…Leevi….Levi."


End file.
